Episode number: S02E12
Episode title: I Hope You Dance
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Gayness: 
2/5
We start the episode with Waverly confronting Bobo and the Widows. They don’t kill her for some reason, neither do they kill the heir or hold her captive, so the Earps can soon regroup with Dolls and Nicole.
Meanwhile, Bobo helps the Widows find the now-risen corpse of Demon Clootie. He’s in an old mine, and other than his very white skin, we only get to see his arm, which promptly gets chopped off by Mercedes. She wants to get his powerful ring and kill him, presumably so she can be the next super-demon. The ring is powerful and immediately turns Mercedes into Gandalf. (Or maybe a Khaleesi.)
Wynonna and Waverly go see the Iron Witch, who’s immediately repentant about the little alternate universe episode. (To be fair, Wynonna’s pointing a gun at her. I’d be repentant, too.) From what I gather, she melts the metal plate that’s been around for a few episodes and turns it into one single bullet. Maybe she should’ve stretched it with some other metal and got two or three bullets, but no.
Next, Wynonna and Waverly run into Gandalf who wants Wynonna to help her kill her husband. Beth-Widow objects, and so does Doc. The whole thing is resolved by a ridiculous scene in which Doc splits the Peacemaker bullet with his own bullet. The bullet halves then perfectly hit the Widows and that’s the end of them. So half the metal was enough to kill a Widow. WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE MORE BULLETS?!
Doc and Jeremy go to check on the Demon, Dolls has a stand-off with the firefighters, Nicole is on a special mission to…err, get a car? And Wynonna gets ready to have a baby. Rosita says she’ll help her deliver it (biology, biochemistry, same thing), then turns evil and says she’ll steal it. This made me so sad. I liked Rosita, she was one of the good revenants. I guess I partially understand it since Wynonna was a jerk to her in the last episode and threatened her with eternal damnation, and Rosita does seem to be very conflicted about the whole thing, but still.
Rosita knocks out Waverly, even though she likes her, and when Waverly wakes up again, she points Peacemaker at Rosita. I don’t understand why she could use it since she’s not the heir and not even an Earp, but she seems to miss Rosita anyway. “Good for you,” Rosita says before she scurries off in her high heels. What did you expect? You just threatened to kill her sister!
Wynonna has the baby and Waverly and Nicole take it out of the Ghost River Triangle. The baby doesn’t go up in flames, and neither does Waverly. She might not be half revenant after all, Bobo’s not her father, and maybe she’s just not an Earp but still human. Perry (attractive Asian guy who was going to marry Waverly in the last episode) flies in with his helicopter and takes the baby away to the hidden place that Aunt Gus disappeared to in an earlier episode.
Lastly, Wynonna and Dolls kill a bunch of revenants, Bobo gets thrown in the well, and Doc Holliday reveals he’s been in hell when he died in the last episode. He also lost eternal life when Bobo destroyed his ring, so that’s not really something to look forward to – eternity in hell. Plus, Wynonna’s mom is still around and might help fight Demon Clootie in the next season. (Did Waverly know this?)
Also happening: Nicole is getting divorced (well, that was a pretty pointless plot point with the wife) and she also has a file on the Demon Clootie cult. His real name is Bulshar. Dolls seems in the know as well and they have his ring. I hope they’re not secretly cultists. No more secrets!
Stray thoughts from the wife
- Well, that tied up a lot of threads! I’m not too sorry to say goodbye to the widows at this point. They’d run their course.
- Mercedes took the ring, went full Galadriel…and then bit the dust. So much for that. Does real Mercedes get her face back now?
- That stunt with the guns though. Suspension of disbelief stretched to breaking point.
- Dolls fired his gun in this episode (and the last)! And more than once!
Let’s review the status quo at the end of the season:
- Wynonna: Heartbroken over sending her child away; sore bits; visiting Mama Earp
- Waverly: Happily reunited with Nicole; split lip; not a Revenant but maybe a little bit a Revenant?
- Doc: Mortal; enjoying revenge on Bobo; brooding dad
- Dolls: Confirmed fire-lizard-man; not the dad
- Nicole: Getting a divorce; new keeper of One Ring; hiding something?
- Jeremy: Pining gay; made of metal; secret super powers?
- Rosita: Missing; no longer on the Christmas card list
- Bobo: In a well; platinum blonde; not the dad
- Widows: Deceased
- Constance Clootie/Stone Witch: Headless; deceased
- Sheriff Clootie/Bulshar: Down a hand; a bit under the weather; possibly free?
- Real Mercedes: In hospital; awaiting face transplant
- Real Beth: Deceased
- Tucker: Deceased(?)
- Ewan: toast
- Nedley: Hopefully not dead?
- Calamity Jane: Waiting for her dinner
- Alice Michelle Earp-Holliday: Experiencing first flight; not a Revenant
- Willa Earp: Probably still deceased
- Peacemaker: Now available in new colours!
That’s all, folks. Curious to see what direction the new season goes in!
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