Wynonna Earp Recap – S03E06: If We Make It Through December

Wynonna Earp Recap – S03E06: If We Make It Through December

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Gayness: 4 out of 5 stars 4/5

It’s Christmas in Purgatory and Nedley is a grumpy Santa Clause and poor old Nicole has to wear an elf costume for what feels way too long. She and Nicole make out quite a bit in this episode, and quite noisily considering both Wynonna and her mum are in the house. Who does that?

But once again, it’s good to have a semi-functional lesbian relationship in a show that’s clearly full of dysfunctional straight relationships. Wynonna loves Doc but she doesn’t think she deserves him, so he “cheats” on him with a firefighter she just met (I think he might be evil, I don’t like him), but that’s cool, because Doc has already “cheated” on her with his wife and then lied about it. She seems to mostly want him because she’s blood-thirsty, and meanwhile, Waverly is a child that came out of an affair her mother had with an angel, presumably because she was sick of her alcoholic husband. Whew!

Christmas dinner at the Earp house.
Christmas dinner. I did love all the crazy jumpers, I have to say.

Waverly’s dad was a guy called Julian and he was “an angel”, whether literally or not, who can tell. He wasn’t there the day Waverly was born, nor after, but her mother conveniently passed out after the birth and Bobo brought the baby to her alcoholic husband and told him to take care of her. Bobo won’t say any more, and frankly, if you’re as sick of Bobo lying about in dirty well-water, you’re in luck, because Mama Earp gives him some Turkey and cranberry sauce – and a rope to get out. Apparently, she’s still a bit mental.

Also happening in this episode: Bulshar abducts a little boy while Nedley is just around the corner dressed as Santa Claus, and then he goes to all the trouble of pretending the boy is dead, as though he’s not a super over-powered demon and has to lay false tracks. Also, he’s running his own Satan’s Workshop with twisted elves where he collects those who have been naughty (everyone whose family is “originally” from Purgatory) and feeds them gross gobstoppers and green paint. Alright, I don’t know what he feeds them, but my current theory is, it’s some sort of seed and the green stuff is fertilizer and it turns people into murder trees! I might be way off.

Wynonna and her mum
Mama Earp doesn’t do the dishes right.

Now, Robin has already been coughing up soil (or whatever it was), and he did have green paint around his mouth by the time he was rescued by Wynonna’s and the firefighter’s killing spree. So he’s probably infected with whatever evil Bulshar came up with. He gives Jeremy a big smooch when he sees him again at the police station, and like with Waverly and her black goo, I have to wonder: It’s not contagious, is it?

I have to say, I’ve grown very fond of Jeremy by now. Everyone seems to like him and he likes his new group of friends so much that he calls them his “family” and spends his Christmas dinner with them instead of with his hot new (murdertree) date. By the way: He’s in Robin’s phone as “Jeremy Cutemurdertree”. Ha!

Robin and Jeremy
Robin charming the socks off Jeremy.

Nedley, bothered by how he failed his job when the little boy was abducted, retires and elevates Nicole Haught to Sheriff. Woo! I don’t know why he’s taking it so hard, though. Everyone was returned to their families/dates in the end and nobody even spoke about the traume they had endured.

At the end of the episode, Wynonna makes out with the potentially evil firefighter and Doc decides to become a vampire. Uh, yeah, don’t make rash decisions, you know? If this is to piss off Wynonna, I’m sure that’ll work. (Also, there’s a scene of Waverly dancing in a short santa costume for Nicole, but I’m suppressing that image because it just felt so awkward. All the awkward things they make that poor actress do!)

Also, before I forget: Waverly is vegan? Since when? She was stuffing her face with baked goods in the last episode, I’m sure that wasn’t all vegan! I did love that exchange though: “I’m vegan.” – “But you’re already a lesbian.”

Stray thoughts from the wife

  • Uh oh, Christmas episode! Nice onesie, Wynonna.
  • This one also wasn’t sure what tone it was going for but I guess that was inevitable given the type of show this is.
  • Really? The new love interest is a boring white dude with no depth?
  • He might turn out to be evil, though. He loomed suspiciously over Nicole at one point.
  • I thought Wynonna and Boring White Dude™ killing all those masked people at the abattoir was a bit hasty. What if some of them were victims? Also, did no one stop to find out who these guys were? If they’re a secret cult, you’d think this would be important information.
  • So I might have looked away when Bulshar’s lackeys were torturing people and I’m not sure what they did to them, so I’m not sure if anything was done to Robin, but…he had green goo on his face afterwards, right? Not good.
  • Will being Jeremy’s love interest give Robin plot armour? Only time will tell.
  • Aw, the Earps are Jeremy’s family <3

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