Episode number: S02E08
Episode title: No Future in the Past
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Gayness: 
2/5
Today’s episode starts with Waverly retelling a story of her childhood when her evil sister Willa tried to kill her by making her drown in a lake. (As we find out later, Bobo saved her.) Also, apparently nobody celebrated her birthday or was particularly nice to her. Poor Waves.
Also, Rosita (you may know her as Boobs McSeltzer) gets over her jealousy and decides to throw a baby shower for Wynonna, with mocktails, a baby piñata, and everything. I like her, so I’m glad she’s back. Also back: The feisty OBGYN from last episode. Wynonna, as it turns out, has not yet come to terms with the fact that she’ll have a baby.
Juan Carlos semi-kidnaps Wynonna to send her on a vision quest, which is one of those weird side-quests where she finds out more about the backstory of everything.
The whole thing goes on a bit, but the gist is this: The two veiled widows as well as the lady who would become the Stone Witch were married to a demon called Clootie, who was buried alive by Wyatt Earp. Juan Carlos, Bobo and Constance Clootie (aka the Stone Witch) each created a seal by pouring a powder on a talisman and hiding it. Her seal is her wedding ring, which she’s given to Doc Holliday and bound to his eternal life before she threw him down a well. So presumably, to open the seal, they need Doc’s ring, which he presumably dies without.
While Wynonna is doing her side-quest, Dolls tries to save her, as always, but apparently she can’t simply be woken up in the middle of it. He waves his gun about a bunch of times at the veiled ladies (before and after they disembowel and eat Juan Carlos), but he never fires his weapon. Why?
Wynonna finally comes out of her quest after telling Bobo to look after Waverly when he’s a demon, but apparently she’s briefly dead for 77 seconds (asphyxiation by smoke inhalation?). She gets revived and snuggles up with Dolls, which has me somewhat confused. When did the two of them get all snuggly?
Lastly, Waverly presumably finds out she’s not an Earp, which Nicole tried to keep from her for no good reason other than to introduce some drama, and in a final scene I did not expect, the demons from the first season rise again (or at least Bobo does) because of those 77 seconds of a dead heir. Intriguing! (Although I honestly could’ve done without Bobo this season.) Also: Go and see your OBGYN, Wynonna – you were dead, you might want to check on your baby.
Stray Thoughts From The Wife
- What the heck was that thing on the ultrasound? Didn’t look much like a baby to me…
- Tsk, tsk, Nicole. You should know better than to not only hide but open documents addressed to your significant other.
- Rosie is being nice…and I’m sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or something to happen to make her go back to being her best sulky Buxom Biochemist.
- Ooh, backstory! Lore! Plot progression! Hurrah!
- It was quite confusing, though. Wynonna was Robert/Bobo’s guardian angel? Why? How? And why did Wynonna give Bobo Waverly’s name at the end?
- RIP Juan Carlo, though I was convinced it was the Widows impersonating him all the while. Not sure how he got away from them after they attacked him at the start. Apparently they decided not to eat him and instead give him gangrene, but then they ate him later after all because…reasons. So was Wynonna being in that church part of their plan or…? I’m so confused.
- While we’re here, what is it with this show and people pointing guns at things they most definitely want to kill, but not pulling the trigger? Why does Dolls not shoot the Widows on the multiple opportunities he has to do so? He’s contantly pointing a gun at them but never shoots. OK, so it is fair to assume that a simple gun wound wouldn’t kill them, but it would presumably still slow them down. If not, why point the thing at them at all? And why would they recoil from it? TV logic, I guess.
- Minor gripes aside, it was good to have a solid chunk of lore laid out. Bring on the next episode!
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