Wynonna Earp Recap – S03E12: War Paint

Wynonna Earp Recap – S03E12: War Paint

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Gayness: 2 out of 5 stars 2/5

The season finale was a little bit confusing, I have to say. It starts with Wynonna inviting the revenant army to her house by burying a thing from a previous episode that I thought protected her house. They are friends now, and friends who bourbon together, fight together.

Bulshar oopens a portal and checks to see if non-mortals can go through by sending a beekeeper. Doesn’t go well for the beekeeper. He wants Wynonna’s blood for some reason, so he can end the curse and unlink them. Or something.

Waverly explains the complications of Charlie/Julian to Wynonna and she’s a bit overwhelmed, but at least she’s got good hair.

Bobo asks Waverly to kill him when the time comes. Apparently giving up your free will does something irreversible to you. Not to Mercedes or Wynonna though, of course!

Waverly and Bobo

Nicole and the Contessa defend themselves against beekeepers, but Nicole gets hurt and still decides it’s fine and she’ll just go find Waverly. And the Contessa and Mercedes let her go? Bad friends. Bad Nicole! Put a bandage on at least! She collapses and Doc, who is suddenly good again (huh?), carries her to the homestead.

Charlie treats Nicole’s flesh wound at a price – the price being his strength. Which is weird because when Waverly fixed Mercedes’ face, it took but a light touch. Maybe she’s just better at it?

There’s an epic fight with tons of revenants that just suddenly has no more revenant or beekeeper armies but just a guy holding Wynonna down and someone coming at her with a chainsaw. Seriously, where did the rest of the fight go?

Bulshar preparing a beheading

Julian saves Wynonna and gets killed and then Waverly murders Bobo. Bulshar takes Wynonna’s blood to break the curse so all the revenants disappear, even the nice ones.

Next, Wynonna spikes everyone’s drink except for Waverly’s, who said she didn’t drink it anyway because she didn’t trust her – but she let Nicole drink it. Worst girfriend ever, Waverly! How could you do this to the woman you love who you just proposed to and who said… well, not no, I guess.

So Wynonna and Waverly go to the stairway, fight Bulshar the snake, Waverly makes Wynonna a protector/heroine and Wynonna kills Bulshar, who snake-bites her as he’s dying. Doc comes out of nowhere to suck the venom out, yay, but Waverly gets pulled into the garden by a creepy CGI tree arm. Eep! Maybe the Garden of Eden is not as heavenly as we thought! Doc goes after Waverly to save her, which is odd since he’s neither mortal nor an angel.

Doc and Wynonna

Wynonna wakes up on the forest floor alone and goes to look for the gang she drugged before. They are all GONE. Then she finds Nedley at the bar and they get armed and ready to get Waverly back – in season 4!

I have to say, that was not a satisfying end to the season and a lot of the things that happened were just utterly confusing. Also, why did Nicole hesitate to say yes to Waverly’s proposal? Because Waverly’s the kind of gal who would let her sister drug her spouse? Unclear! I guess we’ll find out in season 4.

Stray thoughts from the wife

  • I do love that Wynonna teamed up with the demons, but I feel they could have got more mileage out of that. This should be a big moment!
  • A little weird that while wondering what she is without all the demon-killing, Wynonna doesn’t think of being a mother to her daughter. Surely breaking the curse should allow her to go back to a normal life and get her back? In theory?
  • Bobo in silly leather beret is maximum camp.
  • Famous last words: “It’s just a flesh wound.” Seriously, Nicole?
  • Why is there a price when Charlie aka Julian aka Rebound Guy heals Nicole, but it was super easy for Waverly to fix Mercedes’s face?
  • Charlie/Julian/RG fixed Nicole’s shirt too when he healed her. Thoughtful for her, but what about the rest of us? Damnit!
  • After being Evil(TM) for an episode, Doc is now Not Evil(TM). All right, then.
  • So Bulshar breaking the curse off-screen was a bit of a let-down. Also, it feels as if he could have climbed the stairs at any time while Wynonna was busy brooding on the homestead.
  • Nooo, Waverly!
  • Nooo, Wynonna!
  • Pretty sure sucking venom out of a wound is one of those things you’re expressly told NOT to do.
  • So you can only go through the door if you’re mortal. And Doc is mortal because…of the snake venom? Why can’t Wynonna go up the stairs? Why is Wynonna immortal if Waverly is not? I am so confused.
  • Bye-bye Bobo. You will not be missed.
  • Wrapping up another season and I am mystified by the lore on this show. It was pretty bold to end the season on that cliffhanger, with Waves and Not-At-All-Evil-Honest-Guv Doc gone off to visit the Secret Garden. I hear Season 4 is happening and I have to wonder where on earth they plan to go next…

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